Intimacy and stress relief: rebuilding connections

"Stress arises when you are 'here' but would rather be 'there', or when you are in the present and want to move into the future. Hence the inner split".

- Eckhart Tolle

As a simultaneous interpreter and teacher, I often experience stress at work, especially when interpreting conversations where one party is visibly upset and speaking with a raised voice. I find it difficult to remain indifferent in such situations. Although the stress of short conversations passes quickly, I often feel visibly stressed after longer conversations.

Stress disrupts a person's physiological, emotional and cognitive functions. When we are stressed, our bodies stop functioning normally, we do not feel well and we are unable to think normally. When we feel threatened, our sympathetic nervous system reacts in a variety of ways, such as increasing our heart rate, stimulating the release of stress hormones or forcing blood to flow to our limbs and brain.

To cope with stress at work, I use various relaxation techniques to help me stay balanced and focused. Although stress at work is not a pleasant phenomenon, I manage to cope with it using these methods.

One technique I use is deep breathing. By practising conscious breathing on a regular basis, I can slow down my heart rate, lower my blood pressure and reduce muscle tension. During a short break, I take several deep breaths, trying to focus on each inhale and exhale. This practice allows me to manage my emotions and regain my composure.

When men feel stressed, they tend to react in the typical way - fight or flight. Statistically, they are more likely than women to lash out or withdraw. They are particularly likely to relieve stress through avoidance, for example by abusing intoxicants. Women, on the other hand, relieve stress more effectively by forming social bonds and caring for children. From an evolutionary point of view, this way of coping with danger has evolved in women due to the need to protect children and to seek support in a group to defend themselves together due to their lower physical strength compared to men.

According to the GFK Polonia survey 'Poles and Stress', 41% of Poles consider Monday to be the most stressful day of the week and 78% describe their mood on Mondays as average, poor or bad. At work, the most common causes of stress are an overload of responsibilities, poor work organisation, problems in achieving set goals and excessive bureaucracy. In private life, the main sources of stress are financial problems, illness in the family, illness of a child, managing the household budget, renovations and the burden of housework.

The data shows that up to 98% of those surveyed admit to experiencing stress from time to time, and one in five people struggle with it on a daily basis. Stress can lead to headaches, difficulty concentrating, feelings of sadness, helplessness and a greater tendency to turn to stimulants. It seems that our attitudes towards the world and ourselves play an important role in coping with stress. High self-esteem helps to reduce the number of stressors that can affect us, while low self-esteem increases the danger zone.

One interesting topic is the effect of sex on stress. Researchers at Paisley University in Scotland asked 24 women and 22 men about the relationship between sex and stress. They found that sexually active people performed better at public speaking and solving difficult tasks than those who did not have sex. Professor Gallup and Professor Fischer claim that kissing also has a positive effect on stress reduction.

However, reluctance to have sex may be caused by excessive stress. Prolonged stress can lead to hyperprolactinemia, an excess of the hormone prolactin in the central nervous system. Prolactin is a hormone that affects many functions in the body, including milk production in women and immune regulation.

In stressful situations, the body starts to produce larger amounts of prolactin, which can have a negative impact on sex life. In particular, excess prolactin can reduce libido and cause erectile dysfunction in men and ovulation problems in women.

In the case of hyperprolactinemia, these symptoms can persist for a long time, even many months or years after a stressful event, as the dysregulated neurohormonal system needs time to recover. Unfortunately, the effect of hyperprolactinaemia on sex life can be a vicious circle - sexual problems associated with excess prolactin can lead to even more stress.

Paradoxically, the cure for not wanting to have sex may be to actually have sex. Psychologist Lew Starowicz says that even bad sex is better than no sex at all, and if you don't have sex regularly, it's much harder to rebuild a sexual relationship than a psychological one. So making love is worth it, even from a scientific point of view, because it can help you cope with stress. As Dr Dean Ornish has said, "Sex is one of the healthiest and most natural ways we know to relieve stress."