How could I forget?

The first thing that comes to mind when I see "how to forget" is a Polish rap song released 20 years ago that tells the story of an unhappy crush and the attempt to erase what happened from memory. It's common knowledge that what's done is done, and often the more we want to forget, the more we think about it. The only thing left is to come to terms with what was. After all, we are not capable of consciously forgetting things; rather, we carry this baggage of experience with us throughout our lives. We may forget something in the hurly-burly of thoughts and events, but we rarely forget things that are more important to us. We eagerly revisit such memories, and although each of us would probably like to forget some things, others are particularly important to us.

Now imagine a situation where you couldn't remember anything, good or bad, a life where you would always live in the moment. A moment that lasts 30 seconds, and no matter how hard you tried, you wouldn't be able to remember what youdid before. Does that sound a bit like hell on earth? That's exactly what happened to Clive Wearing, an English conductor who contracted herpes at the age of 47. It turns out that this seemingly harmless virus can cause herpes encephalitis, a serious and fatal disease. 70% of untreated people die, and most develop neurological problems.

Clive Wearing was no exception. By the time he was diagnosed, the virus had caused severe damage to his brain. Fortunately, thanks to treatment, he survived and is still alive today. But the virus had done its work. Since 1985, Clive has suffered from anterograde amnesia - unable to remember anything new. He is unable to manage his own life and has to be under constant supervision for his own safety. As he says himself, he doesn't care whether it's day or night. On the other hand, he remembers much of what happened up to 1985, can play complex pieces on the piano, recognises his loved ones and, most importantly, is still in love with Deborah.

Clive fell ill just a year after they were married, so they didn't have much time to enjoy a normal marriage, where the wife can blame her husband for forgetting something. The thing was, Clive forgot everything, every new moment he spent with Deborah. As we can guess, this is not an easy relationship, but rather a manifestation of unconditional love on the part of his partner. At first Deborah tried to forget, divorced Clive and went to the States for a few years to start a new life. Eventually, however, she returned to England to remarry him because she was still thinking about Clive. Deborah married Clive for the first time in 1984. That one year of their post-marital life together was particularly positive and Clive has nothing but fond memories of it. As Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said, you can only see well with your heart, and Deborah and Clive's hearts are working perfectly.