Dancing in the rain
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."
- Vivian Green
A few years ago I went through an extremely difficult time in my life. The onset of the pandemic caused me to lose many students, and a company decided to withdraw from my services, resulting in the loss of my main source of income. Faced with these problems, I felt devastated and was forced to seek any help that was available. Although I felt weak and lost, there was always a spark of hope left in me. It was my family who became my refuge and source of immense support during this difficult time.
I now try to live my life in such a way that I will never have to face similar adversity again. I try to make wise decisions, seek additional sources of income, develop my skills and nurture relationships with loved ones so that we can overcome any obstacles together in the future. I recognise the importance of seeking balance and stability in both my professional and personal lives.
Researchers at the University of California, San Francisco warn that symptoms of depression, such as anxiety, deep sadness or feelings of loneliness, can be as harmful to health as smoking or obesity. Anxiety and depressive disorders are strongly linked to poor health, so it is important to look after our emotional health, especially during difficult times in our lives.
In relation to emotions, it is worth mentioning the work of Paul Ekman, one of the best known researchers in this field. Ekman spent 30 years studying non-verbal behaviour in different countries and cultures, focusing on the expression and reception of emotions such as anger, surprise, disgust, fear, happiness and sadness. The results of his research have shown that there is a group of universal emotions that are expressed and received in similar ways by people all over the world, regardless of their background or culture. According to Ekman, it is possible to identify different emotions based on certain physical reactions and facial expressions. In the case of sadness, for example, we can recognise it by the lowered upper eyelids, loss of focus in the eyes and slightly lowered corners of the mouth.
Ekman also developed an emotion coding system called the Facial Action Coding System (FACS), which allows scientists and psychologists to analyse facial expressions to identify emotions. This system is particularly useful in psychological therapy, where a better understanding of a patient's emotions can help the therapist create a more effective treatment plan.
Understanding emotions, both your own and those of others, is key to coping with difficult life situations and building deeper and more satisfying relationships with other people. This facilitates communication and allows early identification of problems and conflicts, which is important for maintaining emotional health and well-being.
The teachings of the Buddha are also noteworthy. The Buddha argues that the only way to salvation is to accept the suffering that will always be with us. We often think that the natural state should be joy and its derivatives, but to achieve inner balance we should experience a whole range of emotions, including sadness. The universe is based on a battle of opposites - there is no good without evil, and no joy without sadness.
"Your joys are desert islands, your sorrows are the bridges that connect you to everyone."
- Khalil Gibran
Acceptance not only enhances the experience of positive emotions, but also helps us to face discomfort, stress and feelings of anxiety about what we should be doing. Research shows that naming emotions, such as 'I feel anxious' or 'I feel sad', helps to reduce the discomfort we experience. In this way, we come to accept the unpleasant feelings we are experiencing, which leads to better coping.
In conclusion, both Paul Ekman's research and the Buddha's teachings show that accepting and understanding emotions is crucial for emotional health and the ability to cope with difficult life situations. Being open to experiencing the full range of feelings and being aware of and naming the emotions we feel can help us achieve inner balance and greater well-being. Developing healthy emotional habits, such as meditation, journaling or talking to loved ones, can also contribute to better emotional health and resilience to stress.
A good example of the practical application of understanding emotions is assertiveness training. Assertiveness is about expressing one's feelings, needs and rights in a way that is respectful of others, while protecting our own interests. By developing assertiveness, we learn to express our emotions and needs in a constructive way, which can lead to improved interpersonal relationships and life satisfaction.
Emotions are an intrinsic part of our lives. How we manage them affects our quality of life, our relationships with others and our overall wellbeing. It is therefore worth investing time and effort in developing skills to manage emotions and understand our own feelings and those of others. In doing so, we will be better equipped to deal with life's difficulties and to enjoy positive experiences.
References:
http://www.zdrowie.senior.pl/75,0,Lek-i-smutek-niszczy-nam-zdrowie-tak-jak-papierosy-czy-nadwaga,29530.html
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