Born into your family

"What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself."

- Abraham Maslow

I'm the second child of my parents, but I also have another brother from my father's later marriage, Maks. Growing up, I viewed my older brother, Karol, as my role model—more knowledgeable and responsible than I was. Whenever I had questions, he always seemed to have the answers. I could rely on him in various situations, and this has remained true over the years. As we've aged, our differences have evolved; some traits have become more subtle, while others remain pronounced. I consider myself to be more spontaneous and lively, yet not as consistent and organized as Karol.

A multitude of factors, including birth order, shape our personalities. Our childhood experiences are influenced not only by our position in the family but also by diverse environmental factors. However, recent studies increasingly suggest that being the first-born, middle, or youngest child can have an impact on our character traits, interpersonal relationships, and long-term life goals.

Dr. Kevin Leman, an American psychologist, delves into how birth order affects personality in his book, "The Birth Order Book." When asked if birth order matters, Leman humorously responds: "Does the bear defecate in the forest?" Throughout his book, Leman offers numerous examples and observations to illustrate how birth order impacts children's development.

1. First-born children, according to Leman, tend to be more responsible, ambitious, and goal-oriented. This can be attributed to the greater attention they receive from their parents and the responsibility they shoulder as 'little parents' to their younger siblings. Successful first-born individuals like Oprah Winfrey and Bill Clinton serve as examples.

2. Middle children, as Leman explains, often struggle to establish their position within the family. Despite this, they tend to be more flexible, adaptive to various situations, and skillful at mediating between siblings. Martin Luther King Jr. exemplifies the traits of a 'middle child.'

3. Regarding the youngest children, Leman notes that they are generally more carefree, creative, and spontaneous, but may also exhibit irresponsibility and demanding behavior. Often craving attention and possessing a great sense of humor, Prince Harry is a prime example of these characteristics.

4. Leman also addresses the unique situation of only children, who lack siblings for comparison. They may display traits of both first and youngest children, balancing a strong sense of responsibility with a desire for attention. Leonardo da Vinci and Charles Lindbergh are notable examples of only children.

It is crucial to emphasize that every family is unique and not all children will conform to the patterns mentioned above. A myriad of genetic and environmental factors shape each individual's personality and values, emphasizing the complexity of human development.